Mufti Aziz appears for an interview

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Mufti Aziz in extreme rage appeared for an interview with a liberal female journalist. Looked at her angrily, and said:

See why are you hell-bent on spreading rumors that I raped my student? Can’t you see that teenager who daily winks at his classmate at school? Are you oblivious to the wrath of God, his age and his actions? He is now just three years old and my eyes can’t believe his activities. I can only wonder what he’ll be up to once he grows up. It will not surprise me a bit if he goes to Europe and gets into all the flashy stuff.

People in Europe are sex addicts. As they breathe, they engage in this heinous act. They hardly respect family relations and moral values are near to none. They offer zero respect to even close relationships, they trample on the teacher-student bond even though the teacher is the spiritual father and the student a spiritual son.

You media workers are ignoring a serious crime of this boy, but you insult and discredit me over a trivial matter. You seem to be full of bitterness towards Islamic scholars and you can’t stop expressing your hatred.

As far as the boy who is being accused of rape is concerned, the truth is that I did not rape him. On the contrary, he raped me! I certainly believe that this damned idiot is an Indian agent who was trained by Abhi Nandan. That’s why he intoxicated me with a fantastic cup of tea and raped me. Well, the substance was so strong that it took me two years to get back to my senses and realize what actually had happened.

And my salute to his courage that he used to commit this dreadful act on every Friday morning, at around 10-11 am. Now I am worried about what I could have been preaching my followers in those Friday sermons. If any such recording comes to light, remember that it is because of that naughty boy. However, in those two and a half years no one noticed that I was in a state of intoxication, only I knew.

Now, this cursed media surprises me even more. Instead of supporting the truth, they are supporting that damned-lad who did not even consider that even if there were few shortcomings in his teacher’s character, those could have stayed behind the veil. Do you think obedient students are like this? Write my words down, he only did this to acquire European visa. He has already filed an FIR that he is being threatened with death, mentioning the two-and-a-half-year-old thing, he will also make an excuse of being young, and then he will go to Europe to celebrate homosexuality. Remember that there is no forgiveness for his crime, he will suffer from AIDS in this world and will burn in the fire of hell, hereafter.

And if he was so turned on, he could have taken the right path instead of intoxicating me. That is why I have always been an advocate of early wed-lock, only liberal westernized people like you oppose it. Had he been married, he would not have fallen into sin and immorality. Look at me, I got married early and I don’t remember ever committing such a sin in my senses. Let me put my hand on the Qur’an for the third time and swear that I did not do such a thing. And trust me, if I lost consciousness after seeing him, it was his fault. Why is he so young and cute?

However, thankfully the world is not empty of god-fearing people. While I had to flee my madrassa to save face because of you liberal feminists, there are various madrassas from Lahore to Mianwali that sheltered me and my sons.

Unfortunately, the police managed to catch me due to your pressure but I bet, in the end nothing will be proved against me and I will be honorably acquitted. Hence, I have learnt a hard lesson in life, in the future I will be careful in picking up my students, so that I can avoid getting ridiculed in front of the masses and from now on, I will prefer ‘Rooh Afza’ over tea.

Well, why are you laughing like this? You should also be aware that your dressing is also inappropriate.

Men can lose their mind and might go astray. They will fall into the devil’s trap. Thankfully, now I am sober and in control of myself, otherwise I don’t really know what could have happened.

By the way, you don’t seem to have learned the basic protocols of meet-and-greet. You invited me over for an interview, and didn’t even offer a cup of tea???? Hmm!

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Ali Sulehria is the Staff Writer of Express Tribune. His writing has appeared in Hubpages.com, The Huffington Post, and various Pakistani publications. He continues to keep one eye on the publishing world. He is a Political and Sports journalist with a penchant for writing, all the time. A business grad who enjoys writing, traveling, good food and laughing at his own jokes. Contact: sulehria.ali@gmail.com

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